viernes, 2 de mayo de 2008


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Nobody loves me

There will be always a "suspicious" attitude in woman for the man who considers himself "undesirable". His lack of self esteem would make him see himself as someone nobody wants to be with. And maybe one of his thoughts when a woman shows interest in him, would be: "Let´s not be foolished, if a woman sees me, it´s because there´s something wrong with me. Or maybe she is not so bright".

The foremost expression of a lack of self love, is when people see them as deffective and worthless. They avoid being with other people because they are afraid to deceive them. Asi if they were going to be caught, thinking: "If someone comes closer, he would see how worthless I am and will reject me. So, it's safer for me to be apart from them." For this people, their best survival strategy is to avoid, run away as soon as possible. Dissappear.

To be ashamed of yourself, is the highest and sadest kind of self-rejection. It is impossible give or receive love, when you doubt about your self worth. What can you offer if you see yourself as a fraud? Besides, of having the big trouble of coping with yourself, whether you like it or not. And not being able to escape from yourself! People who see themselves as loveless, see their problem as irreversible, they see themselves as unfixable genetical mistakes. There are not surgeries, or pills to fix their horrible inner world. So, they tend to use masks where to hide.

They think that love has been forbidden for them, because they don´t deserve it. When someone feels attraction for them, they panic and try to be away from them. They can show themselves as cold, senseless, even rude in order to be apart from the one who loves them. They have this inner feeling of being repulsive, and so their thought is always: "It´s better that no one gets to know me".

When they manage to find a couple, there is a tranquilizer effect. Marriage covers them and they no longer have to compete in the love market, so they can hide again. Thus, what we can see as an estable relationship can become a shield, and not as something that nourishes and make the person grow in affective matters. Many of this people see as a normal thing, the lack of love. There is a self destructive fact in their lives: "I don´t care for those who care about me" It´s undoubtely, a negative predestination, with no escape, the most they love me, the most I go apart from them. Or can be worst, the most I attracted to someone, the most I reject that person.

And as they get used to the idea of being constantly under the eye of the negative critics, it tends to create a low tolerance to uncomfortness. As time goes by, their mind gets used to the idea of "I can´t stand suffering", or worst, "I avoid problems instead of facing them". And a kind of weakness takes over in every act of their lives. "I get lost, because I use to hide a lot, so many lies about myself tend to make me feel lost. Because I use so many masks I don´t know who I am anymore. If I am so hated, I better dissappear from this world, and because I can´t do anything to make my loving life better, I lay down and wait for the worst."

Nobody deserves to suffer this way. No one is that repulsive. Do not hide anymore, just show yourself as you are. What it is interesting for some, it´s not for others. Theres is always a way to see things in a different way. That´s the way of God, that´s how He sees you, as his beloved son, the courageous one, the brave one. Because, his word says, that He created you on his image and acordding to his own nature created you, and He saw that what He has done was good.

So don´t fear, do not be afraid. Take His strenght and be happy. God is with you, He is your Creator, and gave you beautiful values, He would not leave you alone, do not be afraid. Do not deny your values and qualities, men only sees what is outside, the outter appearence, but God can see you heart. His words says: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name: you are mine.

(Isaíah 43: 4)

by Henry Leguizamo

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