He carries my blood in his veins and stands with my bones. His eyes are full of my dew. He is my ticket for the next generation, my starship in the country of the younger. He is the opportunity to give strength, and solidarity to one part of my future. He offers me the chance of being all I wanted him to be. Thus, loving him is loving my self. When I heal him, I´m healing myself. The process of saving him of making mistakes gives a purpose to my pain. I´ll endure as long as I can, waiting for him to be a man. He is my fellow, He is myself. He is my son!
Whether chosen by my heart, or carried in my back, he is my best investment today for the challenges of tomorrow.
The consequence of absent or exhausted parents have filled the nation with a waste of confused and angry children. Millions of young men are bitter and abandoned, and become men without any role models. So, how can we expect from the to teach others how to be a real man, when their own wounds were never healed? The lack of dreams, and bitterness in the heart of men of this generation, has given birth to a violent wave of conflict, promiscuity, perversion and domestic violence. Broken and agressive children ask their fathers for a trust of real manhood, but their fathers are bankrupt, no one really has given them that kind of value!
It is really painful to admire someone who is absent. A one sided love affair is never pleasurable. Empty arms don´t offer a calm and comforting hug, they only reflect the risk of a child which took the risk of exploring himself, because he was rejected in a divided home.
Our youth, have grown up, gettin bored of practicing sports without anyone to admire them. When they were little, they used to color their drawings, and may brought them proudly, but Dad was never there to admire and reward them with that needed fatherly praise. Now, at the end of their hopes, they had left their coloring books aside. They had pricked their footballs and had acquire arms. They got sick of dancing alone the dance of manhood.
Our youth is dying of anger and pain, asking themselves: What do I have to do to bring my Dad back? The absence of one of the parents, leaves desperately searching for "other" to fill in the empty space. If church doesn´t fill it, then the gay comunity would, or the gangs, or pornography. Empty children will always be looking for something to fill in the absence of their parents.
Broken men always try to mask their wounds, behind empty trophies of success. But, behind this fragile facades, there are crying hearts screaming in a forced silence. We hide behind our masks, and try to do chivalrous acts, and then as kids we boast about sex, even when we have never known real love. We long for a tender touch, yet we are afraid of tenderness. We want to be strong enough to help being supportives, and tender enough to be receptive to the pain of others. Can the wounded one heal the injured?
This is the momento of taking responsability, to change the circumstances which create pain. I hope that you haven´t buried your trauma, thinking that pain can´t be healed. Remember, God can raise from the dead, as He did with his Son Jesus Christ! If you really want to revive a dead situation, stop cryaing and go find your child, even when he is in the grave of drug addicction! Raise up your father from the drinking abyss! Maybe you would get closer to the cold look in the eyes of your father. It doesn´t matter what brought him to this state, or what divided you, if you want them back you should raise them up! Go over the gap and chose love at any cost. If you want to heal your relationship with your son, your wife, your daughter o your father, then you have to become involve in the resurrection of that relationship.
If your father is still alive, go find him. If your father is already dead, become a good father to your children. If you can´t have a father... then be a father. You have to overcome your lost or belief, and become what you always wished to have. Give your children what you´ve lost! Overcome any obstacle in order to love and restore what has been lost. Be free of the pain of your divorce, or abuse, or fear and open your arms to your son.
It is time for you to open your tired arms, maybe to your husband or wife. Give the welcome to your daughters and sons, despite of their failures or yours. If we are going to have a family, we should let love take us beyond the wounds that set us apart. It´s time to forgive and be forgiven.
Your son could be a moral handicapped, or may have changed his sexuality. He could be inestable or irresponsable and may need several hours of love and quietness, before he accepts the God of his father. Let him be, and love him, because the only glimpse of the love of God for your son, may be the one he sees and feels, when you are embracing him.
No matter how dark the night would become and how bitter the tear drops you pour, embrace your child and declare to him: YOU ARE STILL MY SON.
EVERYONE WHO LOVES
HAS BEEN BORN OF GOD
AND KNOWS GOD
(1 John 4: 7).
by Henry Leguizamo
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