sábado, 30 de mayo de 2009


Get glasses to see everything black and dark, this is how can one explain the depression, a disorder that impairs the lives and makes the vision of the world is negative. May cause changes in the cognitive and emotional changes, it affects everyone, especially those with a family that lacked in her childhood love, who have suffered traumatic experiences or who have been unable to overcome an emotional loss. Although all human beings have a strength in her personality to face the difficulties, not all possess the same ability to adapt to the loss.

For this reason, eventually entering a state of depression that can affect your mood, anxiety or living spaces that can last weeks, loss of interest or pleasure in most activities, living with feelings of insignificance, helplessness and guilt. May have changes in sleeping habits, feeling tired, loss of energy, feelings of sluggishness, agitation, restlessness, irritability, difficulty concentrating or making decisions, frequent thoughts about death.

It is important to distinguish between sadness and depression. The first is a normal state which is presented in person to events such as the loss of a loved one, the abandonment of the loved one, loss of freedom. Develops over a short period of time is passing, his recovery process is easier in humans. While depression is a mental disorder characterized by feelings of worthlessness, guilt, sadness, helplessness and deep despair. Unlike normal sadness or grief that follows the loss of a loved one, depression is a pathological grief for no apparent reason justifying it, and serious and persistent, that is when the boundaries of sadness are exceeded. It is a long time that the vision of the surrounding world is close to the point that distorts reality.

A depressed person does not make plans for the future because everything is dark, usually stays in the past and regrets what he has done in his life. Depression constitutes high risk factor that can lead a person to think of suicide, often by economic factors or unwanted separations, among others.

On many occasions, although the symptoms of depression are quite clear, most people affected do not consult or seek any kind of help, but it would be appropriate to reflect on this: Who told you that your problems have no solution? Do not let problems or crisis condition your life. Understand that you are unique and that God has given you a creative abilities, gifts, talents and other skills to solve problems and can bless those around you. With a new level of thinking you can see possibilities in your life instead of impossibilities. Say goodbye to stress, anxiety, depression, fear, fear because He who dwells in you has made you more than winning on all those things.

Make a stop to the anxiety and see clearly what the problem is. Sometimes what you think is the problem is not the problem. Get questions: What is wrong? What is the problem we are trying to solve? What is my responsibility in the matter? Specified, no turns or falls des sen assumptions. For those who are married, no marital problems, personal problems alone. Colócate targets. What I would like to see happen? How is the problem solved? Expand your imagination. Think about all the ideas that are possible to solve the problem. Think of possibilities. Make lots of questions. Forget the "crisis" for a moment and enjoy your life thinking it would be like without this problem, ask yourself now: What do I need to solve the problem? How can I prevent this? Take action on your thoughts.

Once you have found what they needed to solve the problem, design an action plan that will lead you to the life you want to achieve. Do not stay on paper. Do what you have to do: forgive, to love, serve, honor, discipline, perseverance, paid work. Do not give up until you see your problem solved. Acquire wisdom, wisdom comes from God and we should seek to assist us in every step. Still there are answers and solutions. ¡Really born to win!

"But in all this we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." (Romans 8:37)

sábado, 31 de enero de 2009


We all know the secret to good human relationships, family, friends, mates, groups or whoever. It is based on comunication. But one thing is to know it and say it, and the other is to practice it and make it work. Specially on the basis of marriage relationships, which are the most harmed, and doesn´t matter how long have been, it could be years or maybe months, even days. What it´s really important is to feel connected to each other. And what counts is the way you share emotional information with your couple, through words or attitudes. It is not about how we say things, but how whe transmit them.

People react in a positive way to that emotional conection, and instead of arguing and quarreling we should use "positive tools" as the sense of humour, affection and care, to make things work in a better way. All of these tools help to dissolve negative feelings, bad temper and resentment. Those who in the middle or an arguing can make a difference, and stand in a positive way are more likeable to solve conflicts, restore feelings and build positive answers from his opposite.

And although it sounds easy and even nice, one should begin to "work" before even an arguing would come. Everyday, with the emotional information exchange, as it should be, is how we establish more stable and loving relationships.

Most of the people who make the decision of share their lives and destinies, don´t do it with the intention of breaking up or failing. But it happens frequently, and sometimes it is because we don´t pay enough attention to other´s emotional needs. Many times that lack of interest is not intentional, we get involved so much in our own business that we forget. But the results are the same. On the other hand when we pay attention to our beloved ones, it evolves into more stable relationships. When you are present, and pay attention to your couple, there will be always be an answer. If your goal is to have a good relationship with your spouse, you have to focus on your couple.

Conflicts are unavoidable, when it comes to share activities and dreams. How to express our differences, is the key to solve those conflicts. The golden rule is justo to say what you feel, or to complain in the very moment and opportune space, but without criticism. What is the difference? Complaints always have to do with a specific problem. Criticism is global, and implies judgment. It includes sentences as: "you always..." or "you never..."

Criticism weakens our temper, with negative tags. To say and listen to complains is not always easy, but generally is worth to pay attention to them because, it can help to understand each other better or solve the problems. On the contrary, criticism, guides to the opposite. It hurts our feelings and increases tensions and resentment. When you are in a deffensive position, it is almost impossible to have a good communication and less likeable to have a good relationship.

When things get out of hand, people always ask to themselves if it was because of something they said. Well it could be so. But what really damages a relationship is what you don´t say. Many misunderstandings come out of situations and matters people need to talk about, but they never do. As a result confusion and tension are present, and come with argues, all of these leading the relationship to a hostile mood, fleeing away from the solution of the conflict. When conflict is our daily bread, we better watch for those things we haven´t said or expressed. In other word, all of the things we have kept inside us.

It sounds very easy to talk about what we feel, but not so many times is so easy to unveil our soul. But there´s always a way to begin. It is as easy as to focus en the feelings in that very moment. That little step would lead you to walk in the right direction towards a healthy relationship with your couple.

Hatred stirs up dissension,
but love covers over all wrongs
(Proverbs 10: 12)