viernes, 2 de mayo de 2008



Self esteem is in vogue. To learn how to love yourself is the key to any self motivation. According to some, it is a way of trascend. It´s not about the others anymore, now it´s about you. And, in some way it is true, we see many people burdened by the problems of others, rather than their own.

This is a mental revolution, and it´s good, if we happen to manage it correctly. As the word says: "Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you." (Romans 12:3). This way, it leads to a inner restructure, when people begin to feel that they are not really that bad, or that mean. We are a mix of virtues and failures, and at last intance, self worth, the essence are never at stake. "I am highly worthy" so I have to care about myself. "I am a miracle", created by God, which can be despised. I don´t have to suffer unnecessarily.

Happiness granted by self esteem is amusing. There are people, who when they feel well with themself, go to the priest to confess, seek for the help of an espiritual conselour, or simply go to a terapist, arguing: "I´m feeling weird" And what really is happening to them is that their self love is being activated. For those who don´t know to love themselves, happiness is weird. Thus, when you strenghten your self esteem, you are not becoming a narcisist, or an epicureous searching for unlimited pleasure. But what you are looking for is to enjoy life and reward yourself. You can do whatever you want to please yourself, as long as it doesn´t hurt you or other people.

You don´t have to punish yourself constantly, or being an eternal mourner. People who love themselves (in a healthy way), achieve a better quality of life, rather than those who hate themselves. There are evident advantages, I would mention three of them:

First of all, good self esteem strenghtens you. That means that you will have a higher affective and racional assurance in your life. Problems will become challenges, and no longer would be headaches for you. Self esteem should be taught at any time, in any place. It is more important than know physics, or winning the math olympics, or trying to understand a complicated chemistry formula. And, I´m not saying here that we have to despise science, but the point is that if you learn without confidence in yourself, then every hint of success would be imposible to achieve. The firs requirement to go farther intelectually, is the conviction of that you would be able to achieve it.

The second advantage about self esteem has to do with health. Research has proven that when we are ok with ourselves, all the body functions perform well and the inmmune system process is strenghten. Body, obeys the mind. That is to say, that if I can bear myself, i get sick. It´s auto annihilation.

The last factor, is love for others. Yo do not give what you are, but you give others what you think you are. If I feel like a roach, if shame hunts me, ifI´m constantly apologizing, if I run away from compliments and finally, if I feel guilty of being happy, I don´t have too much to offer to others. My display of love and affection would be weak and miserable. Love is an experience that always reflects what we are. When someone, really loves us, that feeling pierces us, from side to side. That is why, positive affection always have a self reference implicated. If I don´t believe that I deserve the love of others, I will not know what to do with it, and tendernes will be unknown. The best way to know if our self esteem is healty, is to accept interpersonal love, withouth any barrier, prevention, distrust or suspicion. Then, we could way safely the way that God establishes in his Word: Entonces podemos andar en el mandato que nos da Dios, en cuanto a: “Love the others, as you love yourself”(Mark 12:31). To tell you the truth, it´s difficult to love someone, who doesn´t love himself, because there isn´t a receptor.

If by loving ourselves, we can increase personal trustness, become sick less, love comfortably and without fears, isn´t it worthy to promote? Why don´t we make it a beautiful task in our lives? We should give it away in every corner, school, at home. We should bottle it and drink it it, (with all his "selfs" as vitamins, self image, self concept, self efficiency, self respect, self fulfilment, self knowledge) until we burst of self esteem. Whe should tickle it, and make it laugh. And without falling in any exagerated love for ourselves, we should blow up the esteem with lots of love.


(Matthew 22:39)

by Henry Leguizamo

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