DISCIPLINE WITH LOVE
There was the awful tradition in older schools, to spank the children, in order to phisically punish indiscipline, and low grades. Teachers, seemed more likely prison guardians, spanking, pinching, and shaking children. If you failed, then you had to show your hands and be hitted by the teacher´s ruler, in silence. If you wep, then you received a double portion of it.
The horrible concept, of getting children to learn through physical violence, was applied perfectly, in a very meticulous way. They knew exactly how to be cruel at the most. And that is besides, the mental abuse (the humiliation suffered by the child when he was exposed in front of the class wearing donkey ears).
Physical discipline brings fear. Obedience obtained through this kind of techniques, is only a matter of survival rather than of respect. There´s not admiration, nor acknwledgment towards the authority who inflicts this discipline, but fear. And when children are in fear, mental functions tend to lower, because it is being altered by an invasor, a distractor which consumes almost all the energy. One thing is to teach, and other is to domesticate. You domesticate animals, you teach humans.
Those parents who use physical agression as a way, are out of focus. They are completely wrong. The sistematic application of violent methods in order to teach is abominable. When we read the Scriptures, the concept of discipline is completely oppossite to those aggression practices: My son do not despise the Lord´s discipline and don´t resent his rebuke. Because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delinghts in. (Proverbs 3:11-12) NIV.
Children who have been subdued to the "bruise discipline" learn to escape and avoid, but they don´t learn the concepts and values as they may. The aplication of this kind of discipline, only causes problems in the affective development of these children, it produces anxiety, phobias and and a high tendency to develop stress.
Another secuel, is that violence is an obstacle to attain communication between the punisher parent and the child: children of abusive parents end up being apart affectively from them (It´s difficult to talk to your own tyrant and not feeling any pain). It also causes, a refusal in the child to admire o follow other authority models, or role models. The refusal to obey an authority in many adults nowadays, it´s only the result of a punisher attitude who has hurt his feelings in the past.
And as a last point, there is the influence of the example: children of spanking parents become bullies. They tend to imitate. To inflict suffering to a child is unthinkable. I´m not talking about patting them as to say "you should not do that". But, I´m talking about the violent punishment through punching indiscriminately, to spank violently, or to enjoy the fact of hurting and destroying the personality of those who "supposedly" we love the most.
We should discipline our children with only one purpose in mind: to educate... not to terrify our children. El disciplinar debe llevar el propósito de verdaderamente educar y no atemorizar al hijo. Fathers do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4) NIV
We are a generation hit by the terror didactics. For many of us, our father sight was the signal to obey immediately. It pierced us, stroke us like a thunder and made us paralize. Then, the dialogue, almost a monologue: "Yes" ... "Yes what!...?" "Yes Sir!". It was fulminant, terrible. Violent education, in any of its ways, only has as a result more violence and enormous amounts of resentment, some time impossible to manage.
The good educator doesn´t need to carry a whip with him all the time. He has decided to replace physical punishment by other more humanistic estrategies. A package of well balanced directions, where steadfastness, respect and love are mutually compensed so that the suffering doesn´t exist anymore.
The horrible concept, of getting children to learn through physical violence, was applied perfectly, in a very meticulous way. They knew exactly how to be cruel at the most. And that is besides, the mental abuse (the humiliation suffered by the child when he was exposed in front of the class wearing donkey ears).
Physical discipline brings fear. Obedience obtained through this kind of techniques, is only a matter of survival rather than of respect. There´s not admiration, nor acknwledgment towards the authority who inflicts this discipline, but fear. And when children are in fear, mental functions tend to lower, because it is being altered by an invasor, a distractor which consumes almost all the energy. One thing is to teach, and other is to domesticate. You domesticate animals, you teach humans.
Those parents who use physical agression as a way, are out of focus. They are completely wrong. The sistematic application of violent methods in order to teach is abominable. When we read the Scriptures, the concept of discipline is completely oppossite to those aggression practices: My son do not despise the Lord´s discipline and don´t resent his rebuke. Because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delinghts in. (Proverbs 3:11-12) NIV.
Children who have been subdued to the "bruise discipline" learn to escape and avoid, but they don´t learn the concepts and values as they may. The aplication of this kind of discipline, only causes problems in the affective development of these children, it produces anxiety, phobias and and a high tendency to develop stress.
Another secuel, is that violence is an obstacle to attain communication between the punisher parent and the child: children of abusive parents end up being apart affectively from them (It´s difficult to talk to your own tyrant and not feeling any pain). It also causes, a refusal in the child to admire o follow other authority models, or role models. The refusal to obey an authority in many adults nowadays, it´s only the result of a punisher attitude who has hurt his feelings in the past.
And as a last point, there is the influence of the example: children of spanking parents become bullies. They tend to imitate. To inflict suffering to a child is unthinkable. I´m not talking about patting them as to say "you should not do that". But, I´m talking about the violent punishment through punching indiscriminately, to spank violently, or to enjoy the fact of hurting and destroying the personality of those who "supposedly" we love the most.
We should discipline our children with only one purpose in mind: to educate... not to terrify our children. El disciplinar debe llevar el propósito de verdaderamente educar y no atemorizar al hijo. Fathers do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4) NIV
We are a generation hit by the terror didactics. For many of us, our father sight was the signal to obey immediately. It pierced us, stroke us like a thunder and made us paralize. Then, the dialogue, almost a monologue: "Yes" ... "Yes what!...?" "Yes Sir!". It was fulminant, terrible. Violent education, in any of its ways, only has as a result more violence and enormous amounts of resentment, some time impossible to manage.
The good educator doesn´t need to carry a whip with him all the time. He has decided to replace physical punishment by other more humanistic estrategies. A package of well balanced directions, where steadfastness, respect and love are mutually compensed so that the suffering doesn´t exist anymore.
Hatred (violence)
stirs up dissension
but love
covers all wrongs.
(Proverbs 10: 12) NIV.
by Henry Leguizamo
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